Liliaeth (liliaeth) wrote,
Liliaeth
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Get it over with 1/1 (written for the Behind the scenes ficathon)

Alright, this was hard to write. I may do a lot of S/A, but spuffy is still my fave pairing of choice. So to get a request that says no spuffy in a scene that's supposed to happen during canon... in S7 on top of that, not exactly an easy thing...
Just hope this fits the request well enough...
Couldn't find the name of the person I'm writing it for though.


Title: Get it over with 1/1
Author:Lore
Rating:PG
Summary:Dawn considers her feelings in regards to Spike (during Get it Done)
Pairing:none





As she went up the stairs she wondered why she still cared so damn much. Even after everything that had happened. Even with her anger, with what he'd done, and still despite that all, she couldn't help see him and remember the friend that had gotten her through that long summer of Buffy's death. Not a crush, not anymore, a brother who'd look out for her, through it all. And then she remembered Xander's words and all she wanted to do was hit him, demand an answer from him. Why had he done it, why had he betrayed the image that she'd had of him?

Not the one from that first time. When Angelus had kidnapped her and Spike had grabbed her along as proof to Buffy that he was serious about his offer to help stop Angel from destroying the world. He'd scared her at first, and then he'd been so cool. She wondered if that's when she first realized how much cooler he was than Angel. Not that that was all that hard.
Angel brooded, Spike joked.
It's part of what made Spike's brooding and guilt and remorse and all that nonsense so wrong. It just wasn't Spike. Only now, it was.

He'd grabbed her out of the room that Angel had been holding her in, untied her and told her to keep her gob shut or he'd tear out her tongue and make her shut up. Then they'd walked all through town, back to her home. She'd been blabbing of course, telling how Buffy would kick his ass if he hurt her. He just smiled at her guts and threatened to rip her throat out. Of course he never did. Not even then.

Spike was crawling up already. Lying amidst the rubble and still a bit dazed. What had that thing done to him. But she couldn't care, couldn't get soft now.
He looked away from her, she wondered what had happened to make it like that. And then she remembered it was her. And she wanted to hit him again for making it so.

"Give me a second, I'll just…"

Dawn nodded, standing there, her arms crossed.
He tried to smile at her, but she stayed grim and the smile faded once more.
"Nibblet… Dawn, I…"
Dawn shook her head. She didn't want to listen to him, hear that voice tell her yet more lies.
"I'm sorry."

"You betrayed me."
Spike's face fell in shame.
"You were supposed to keep us safe damn it."
And if he'd start to cry now she didn't know if she could stay angry. But of course he didn't. Spike never cried, well, not for her.
"Why'd you do it Spike?"

And Spike closed his eyes, his face in anguish.
"I have no reason."

She ignored his words.
"Buffy keeps saying it's complicated, that it's hard to explain, that… Why didn't you even tell me that you two were dating?"

"We weren't." An uneasy silence hung between them.
"There was sex, but we never… Buffy needed someone to make her feel alive. I thought. I thought I could make it more, that if I just stuck through, she'd love me. I wanted to believe it so much and then…"
Spike tried to toughen up, force a smile on his face.
"Guess I was wrong."

Dawn wished she didn't feel an urge to hug him right then and there.

"So what now?" he asked.

"I don't know. What does happen now?"

"Well I'll go find that demon, kick its ass, be the bleeding white hat once again. Hell think this'd finally make any of you guys believe I'm on your side."
Dawn looks at him disbelieving.
"Didn't think so either."

Spike pulled his shirt straight and got up from the floor.

"Spike wait." Dawn quickly pulled back her hand, stopping it from reaching out to him.
Now that he stopped, waiting for her, she wasn't even sure what she was going to say to him anymore.
"I…miss the old you too"

And then he left, out the door, knowing like she did that there was no more to say. Not without going into things that neither of them wanted to bring up. By the time he came back he was wearing his coat again, the one she'd brought to him in the basement, telling him that with it there, he'd no longer have an excuse to come back to their place to pick it up.

He looked so much like the old Spike then, same cocky attitude, same certainty, only not.

And when she found him sitting in the basement afterwards, staying out of Buffy's way, out of everybody's way, she just gave him his blood and looked at him. He was still in the coat, it took her a while to realize that he was hiding behind it, trying too hard to be who he used to be.
Cause he missed the old him too.
Even if he'd never come back.

She joked about the coat; clothes don't make the man, stuff like that.
"Well, good that I'm not a man then." Said with such wry pain, hidden beneath sarcasm. It made her wonder what neither of them were telling here. It was complicated, difficult... And a damn vampire with a stupid soul that stopped him from just telling her what had really happened.

It was in his eyes there, the soul.
And that was the worst of it. She wanted to forgive him, to make it ok. But the Spike she wanted to forgive wasn't there anymore. He was trapped now, held with self built chains.
Maybe, maybe when all of this was over she could get to know this new Spike. For now, all she could do was try and give him a smile and leave him to his peace.

She never did make it up with him.
And she'd regret it for the rest of her life.



Assignment:
Request: In 'Get It Done' (Ep 07x15) Dawn says 'I'll go check on him' (re: Spike). Tell me what happened between then and the next scene.
Extra(s), max 3: Obviously Dawn-Spike conversation, reference to how they first met. If possible, get Spike to joke in typical 'Spike' form about the situation.
What you don't want in your story: Spuffy
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