For example, I was asking for recs on spnstoryfinders earlier and I realized that my biggest problem is that even though I love Dean/Castiel, that Castiel is actually third in my list of favorite spn chars, after Sam.
Yet the only way you'll get me to pair Sam/Dean, is if Sam's evil and/or if there's dub-con or non-con of some kind involved.
It's because the brotherly bond between Sam and Dean is far more important to me, than any sexual relationship could ever be. In fact, in a brotherly bond as strong as that between Sam and Dean, having sex can only serve to diminish the bond between them, rather than strengthen it.
Especially with someone like Dean who uses sex as a way to keep from connecting with people.
While I prefer the Dean/Castiel pairing, if I read a Dean/Cas fic, then it wouldn't really feel like SPN to me, unless Sam plays a major part. And I don't mean just him being the awesome brother who helps Dean realize he's in love with Cas and then stops aside for the dean/Cas love story.
What I mean is that I want to read a story that is about Sam and Dean and the bond between them, that happens to have Dean in love with Cas. I'm not saying there aren't any, but they're rare and most of them are Dean/Cas lovestories where Sam is a supporting char to their story.
It's odd, because there are some Dean/oc story or het Dean stories, where the love interest is just there to add to Sam and Dean's stories, but you rarely see this done when the love interest is male. And that's kind of sad.
To give an example in other fandoms. I have seen Spider-Man fics with the pairing Peter/MJ where the focus is really on Peter's relationship with aunt May, or even Johnny Storm. but you rarely find a Peter/Johnny fic that's all about Peter's friendship with MJ.
Or I've seen fics that are Buffy/Spike, but where the focus is really Spike's 'friendship' with Xander, but it's are to find a Spike/Xander fic that focuses equally on the connection between Buffy and Spike.
Are slash fics really that stuck on romance that they can't push the romance aside and use it as a minor part of a friendship story? Or am I just not looking in the right places?