Liliaeth (liliaeth) wrote,

Writer's Block: The long and winding road

Are there any difficult events in your past that made you a stronger person today? If you could go back and erase them, would you?

I was bullied a lot as a child. To such a degree, that even now I have a hard time remembering faces. (yes this is connected, honest) It's like I tried to erase the face of every person that hurt me, and now I barely remember anything more than anecdotes of that time.

I mean, I remember it hurt, I remember events, but I don't have specific memories or you know, flashbacks like they like to show on movies.

I always wonder if I'm alone in having such a bad memory*g*

Personally, if I could change anything in my life, it would be to go to a different school for my first year of highschool.

After spending most of kindergarten and elementary school, at the same school, I then made the mistake of going to a high school with the exact same kids.

This being Herentals, while I had the choice of about four or five other schools in the area.

It might not have made much of a difference, but it definitely couldn't have hurt. Esp. My second year of high school, where I spent a year in a class as the only girl with I think eight or nine boys. One of the few actual moments I remember of my childhood is getting attacked by my classmates while riding my bike home. And then when I went to complain to the principal about what had happened and how they damaged my bike, I was punished as well, because I hit one of the boys bikes while defending myself.

Those two years, I took at least two aspros a day against building headaches. Because after a while, one just wouldn't work anymore.

I had no friends, no one to talk to, I still don't. I have a hard time connecting to anyone. I can talk to people, hang out with them, but it's never lasting, never real friendship and a lot of that is because of the early bullying that didn't stop until I finally went to a boarding school in another city in my third year of high school. Still wasn't able to make many friends there, but at least most of the bullying stopped and I managed to put a full stop to taking medication. Apparently this helped in stopping my migraines.

Even now, I don't think pranking is funny. I know a lot of people like it, think it's fun and entertaining. But to me, when I see guys like the Weasley twins in Harry Potter, all I see is the bullies I was with for the first eight a ten years of my school experience.
Tags: writer's block

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