Liliaeth (liliaeth) wrote,

The White Pony (The scared little girl remix) PG13, Gen

Finally got to posting my fic for the kamikaze remix. don't even know for sure why it took me so long to do so outside of the remix com.

Title: The white pony(The Scared Little Girl Remix)
Author: Lore
Pairing: gen
Rating: PG13
Warnings/Contains: death of a child
Spoilers: none really
Title, Jain’s This Kiss
Summary: After the white pony took her best friend, Doreen just stopped talking
Wordcount: 1935
beta: So much thanks to corbyinoz for saving me by betaing this.

It had been just a pony only moments ago. A lovely white pony, drenched in what had looked like sweat. Doreen had been a bit wary: she loved ponies in theory, but being so close to one, she’d preferred to keep her distance. It’s not like those hooves were for show or anything. And she didn’t want to spook the thing. Her friend though, Elise, she loved ponies. Couldn’t get enough of them. So when she saw the pony on its own, she’d gone right up to it, desperate to look for any clue of its owner, or how to get it back home. The thing had nudged her with its nose and Elise had fed it a cube of sugar she had left over from pony riding the day before.

Doreen had told her they should just call the police, but Elise didn’t even consider it. She figured that at the wise old age of 11, she knew plenty about how to look after ponies without spooking them. When the pony nudged her a second time, Elise climbed on its back. She looked like one of those Amazons from one of Doreen’s storybooks. And Doreen had smiled as her friend had gently nudged the pony in motion, telling it to go home.

It did, a few steps at first, then faster. Doreen had been yelling at Elise to stop, to wait for her. But Elise had started to scream. “It won’t stop.”

“Jump off,” Doreen had yelled. But it was too late and Elise was already out of earshot. Doreen never stopped running, hoping to find her friend and the pretty white pony. She arrived just as the pony ran into the water and then…

She’d never forget her friend’s screams, or the thing the pony turned into. And then she ran for her life. .And didn’t stop until she reached town and fell down crying.


The cops wouldn’t believe her. They kept asking her what happened, they kept demanding answers, but whenever she gave them, they said she was making up stories. So she stopped talking altogether. Why should she talk if no one was willing to believe her to begin with?

Elise’s parents looked at her as if she were doing it on purpose. Her parents thought she was too traumatized to clearly remember the truth. And she hated the way they looked at her with pity. When her mom took her to the mall, she stayed with her just long enough for her mom’s attention to wander off and then she was gone. She wasn’t even sure where she was heading. The bookstore maybe or the library next door. There had to be something, right? Something explaining her what had happened.

“Kelpie. For God’s sake, Sam, what kind of a moron jumps on the back of a horse they don’t even know?” She quickly looked up and stared at the two giants arguing over the computer screen. The biggest of the two let the other one rant and Doreen shivered as she recognized all the bits he mentioned. Kelpies, water monsters that hid themselves in the shape of horses or ponies in order to lure people, especially children into the water and then eat them. Elise’s screams played through her head over and over.

“She wasn’t a moron,” Doreen shouted. They both suddenly turned to her, looking down as if she was barely even there. “She just wanted to bring it home.” Her voice was hoarse, it was the first time she’d talked since the cops.

The slightly shorter one seemed taken back.
“Look, we’d just…” the bigger one started.

“Elise just wanted to help the pony get home, and then it started running and it wouldn’t stop and…” And then Doreen started crying, remembering her friend’s screams, remembering the teeth, the endless teeth.

The two men just stood there, neither of them sure of what to do. “It’s alright. Doreen, right?”

She stared up, wondering how they knew her name.

“My name’s agent Walsh, this is agent Ehart,” the shorter one said as he showed an FBI badge. “We’re investigating the murders near the riverbank, your name was in the police chief’s file. You’re Doreen Lawton, right?” That’s when it hit her, these guys were like Mulder and Scully, investigating strange cases and they actually believed her. It only started her crying even more, this time in relief. Someone was here to stop the monster and that was more than she’d ever hoped for.

They took her to the diner, and gave her an ice cream, while they waited for her to tell them what she’d seen in her own words. They kept asking her questions, what the monster looked like, how big it had been, where Elise and she had found the pony, and where the pony had gotten into the water.

They didn’t try to tell her she’d just imagined things, they didn’t simply assume she was covering up for what had really happened. The relief that came with being believed was immeasurable. Allowing her to remember more, to tell them more, to tell them about the sound of the teeth that still chased her in her dreams. And for the first time since her friend had died, she no longer heard Elise’s screams for her help in the back of her head.
They told her to call them Sam and Dean, and then when her mother showed up, terrified, desperately looking for her, Doreen started telling her it was okay, that they were with the FBI and that they were going to find the thing that killed Elise and her mother just pulled her in her arms. Doreen didn’t even know why her mother looked at the men with such gratitude, but Dean finished eating his pie and Sam, rising up and up and up just apologized to Mom for talking with her without her mother’s permission.

Mom didn’t even seem to care anymore.

They left for home, but Doreen knew she needed more, she needed to know what had happened, if the agents would stop the monster. So she slipped out when her mom left for work, took her bike and rode over to the riverbed.

She stayed behind the bushes as she saw them. They were wearing jeans and flannel shirts now, instead of suits, and both of them were carrying shotguns and she could see the knives stuck in their belts. But the pretty pony didn’t show up again. Doreen bit her lip, wondering what was wrong.

It was getting cold, as it started getting darker. It made her wish she’d taken more than just her sweater. The two agents seemed about ready to give up as well, when Doreen spotted it. A big white pony. It was hiding in the leaves, where the agents wouldn’t see it.

And Doreen knew that if she yelled to warn the agents about it, it would just run off and be gone before they could catch it. She should be running, it wasn’t really a pony, it was a monster, it had eaten her friend. She gulped, and took a step and yet another step.

“Hello.” She whispered. She wondered if it recognized her, like she remembered it. The pony huffed a bit, its hoof stamping on the soil for a moment, but then it stood stock still. “It’s alright.” She spoke in a soothing voice, hoping it was loud enough to be heard by the two agents. Would they come if they heard her? She sure hoped so.

“Have you lost your way home?” The pony tilted its head a bit, and looked at her. Its eyes looked hungry to her and Doreen had to keep herself from shaking as she took a step closer. She had to make sure that the agents saw it, that it wouldn’t try to run in the wrong direction. She had to get on its back, even if it killed her. But it’s the least she owed to Elise, for just standing there when her friend died.

So she climbed on the back of the pony, ready for it to run off, but hoping to at least be able to steer it somewhat in Sam and Dean’s direction. Oh God, she was going to die. The pony started walking and at first Doreen didn’t even dare to fight it, but then it started running and she tried to grab its head, it turned back and almost bit her so she had to let go. That’s when she saw the two men. Sam screamed and Dean came running at them. The pony startled, but Dean slammed the butt of his gun straight into the pony’s nose. The pony roared, the sound of it was like a screech. Doreen let go, but she was somehow stuck to the back of the horse. Dean gave up just trying to pull her off and jumped on the pony behind her, sliding his legs across to get a better hold as he tore her off of the slime that held her glued to the monster’s hide. He threw her off to the ground and her body ached as it hit the soil. She rolled over before she stopped and stared up at the kelpie with the man still on its back. Something slithered under the pony’s skin and it bucked in protest of losing her, but then it gained speed.

Sam was still holding his gun, but seemed to hesitate to use it, now that the other agents was on top of the pony. Doreen sat in the mud, feeling sick, when she saw Dean and the pony go into the water. Oh God no, she couldn’t watch this, not again, she wanted to look away. But she couldn’t. The pony was shrieking and Dean kept pushing his knife in the pony’s throat even as it went under water. Green fluid sprung up on the water and the monster roared in anger, a green tail showed up above the water, but Dean was nowhere in sight. .

Sam stood there for a second, staring down at the water. “Come on, Dean.” But when Dean didn’t come up, he jumped right into the water. The monster was still there, she wondered if it would have stopped the man if the thing had come back up again. She doubted it.. Doreen waited by the waterbed, staring down into the dark muddy water, not sure if she was hoping for the surface to be broken or not, crawling a few inches back when she heard a noise. It was too quiet, where was he? Were both agents gone? Was it her fault? She didn’t know, but she stopped breathing for a second. Then Sam burst out of the water, she sighed in relief as she noticed he was holding his fellow agent in his arms.

“Come on, bro, can’t let yourself get taken down by something as stupid as a Kelpie. Not now.”
Then he started slamming on Dean’s chest, before placing his lips on Dean’s. Doreen wished she knew CPR, but she didn’t, so she just sat there, staring at them both. Praying to God that Dean would live. She succeeded when Dean spat out water and started coughing. Sam let him, helped him sit up and then they both looked at her.

“That was pretty stupid.” She turned away, agreeing. “But very brave.” It made her blush. And as she sat there, covered in slime, seeing the two agents, soaked, but happy, she smiled for the first time since Elise died.

The monster was gone.

Author or LJ name: Jain
Link to story:
Why you chose this story: I keep hoping that someone will pick this story to remix in Remix Redux, and it keeps not happening, so this challenge feels like the perfect opportunity for me. :-) The thing that appeals most to me about it is that there are a lot of different directions for a remixer to take this story. It might be interesting to write casefic involving the kelpie part of the timeline, since I kind of gloss over that in my story. Or you could expand/extend the romance plot, since the story ends just as they're getting together. Or you could write genfic/preslash focusing on just the wee Winchesters or the Sam leaving for college parts. Or remix the entire story with swapped POVs, so that you get Dean's POV for the present and Sam's POV for the past (though writing baby Sammy's POV might be a bit tricky).

Whatever most appeals to you is absolutely cool by me; take your remix where it leads you. The only request I have is that you not treat the five sections of my story as unconnected ficlets; feel free to use as many or as few of them as you want as inspiration for your remix, but please don't disassociate them from each other.

Tags: gen, supernatural, the white pony

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