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Belgian transexual elects to die after botched sex change operation - Me myself and I
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liliaeth
liliaeth
Belgian transexual elects to die after botched sex change operation

Let me start by flat out stating that I have issues with euthanasia.



I get it in cases of a incurable physical illness that's already fatal and where keeping the person alive will only extend their suffering, utterly and completely destroying any quality of life they might have in the meanwhile.


I even get it in cases like Alzheimer where the person suffering from it, know that there is no hope for improvement, and that their symptoms will only get worse.


Where I have the problem though, is in cases of mental suffering. Because far too often it feels to me like people are just giving up on the person who's suffering, because it's easier. Because trying to support someone in pain doesn't have a quick fix.


I'm Belgian, this week we've had quite a few news reports in regards to a  trans man who asked for euthanasia after his sex change operation failed.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2440086/Belgian-transsexual-Nathan-Verhelst-44-elects-die-euthanasia-botched-sex-change-operation.html


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Now I'm not saying this man didn't endure immeasurable suffering, everything I hear about the poor guy's life, every bit of interview I've read with the man's 'mother' (by a very light definition of that word), tells me that a huge part of his life was pain, that he felt he had no way out.


But the thing is, this man was only 44. Yes, his operation failed, but what is to say that there's no chance of him finding happiness, finding love.


His mother made him feel like a monster since he was a baby, she treated him horrendously. Even now, after he's died, she still has no regret, no guilt, no shame for her actions. In fact, she just sees it as ending a chapter in her life.


He had five friends stand by his side when his life was ended. And it was kind of them to be there for him. But somehow I think it would have been better if they'd been able to help him find a new joy in life.


Because the only 'winner' in this is the monster that gave birth to him. Who has finally succeeded in bullying her child into death.

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Comments
poisontaster From: poisontaster Date: October 4th, 2013 08:58 pm (UTC) (Link)
I understand what you're saying and with the caveats that a) you've already admitted that you have issues with euthanasia and b) that the ways that we treat mental illness is...well, terrible, I'm not sure where you're drawing a line between the person who is begging someone with a terminal illness to stay alive "Because they might find a cure someday!" versus telling this person with this terminal emotional/mental problem, "But you might be happy someday!" Is there a difference there? I'm not sure there is.
liliaeth From: liliaeth Date: October 4th, 2013 09:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
I guess that for me the difference is that I don't think that six months of therapy is enough to tell if someone's emotional situations can't be resolved.

I guess I just feel as if by giving up on this man and letting him die, we're abandoning him and going for the easy way out.

Maybe it's because I've had suicidal feelings myself plenty of times in the past and I keep thinking if my family had given up on me as easily as society is willing to give up on this man...
poisontaster From: poisontaster Date: October 4th, 2013 10:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
I've been suicidal myself. To a point where I staged my own intervention because I realized I didn't want to die, I just needed my life to change, radically. And yes, my family was there for me to support me in that decision to live and to help me make the changes that I needed to make.

But I do feel that--just as with a physical illness--that you can be there for your loved one, you can support them, you can offer them a lifeline...if they want it. But I also think at a certain point you have to respect their bodily autonomy. If a person has the right to an abortion, the right to an elective hysterectomy, the right to transform themselves through plastic surgery, etc, they also have the right to decide when to die. And you don't have to agree with it, and you don't have to like it and you can do what's in your power to change their mind...but ultimately, it's their decision, what to do with their life. I don't think that's the same thing as giving up on someone.
jya_bd_cp_ttgb From: jya_bd_cp_ttgb Date: October 5th, 2013 03:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
People are tripping out over the number of people who suicide using a doctor with a needle. How about looking at the numbers for the ones who threw themselves off a bridge/roof, hung themselves from a closet pole, blew their brains out or swallowed a handful of pills and chased it with booze? Probably twice as many.

You get no choice in coming into this world. You want to stay in it, you'll find a reason to stay. You want to leave it bad enough, you'll find a way.

If you make the choice to leave, you should have the option of going peacefully off under the care of someone who knows what they're doing. I think ultimately that it's the nicest thing you can do for your family if you're going to take yourself out, because the rest of them are more tramatizing to have to deal with/clean up. I'd rather hold the hand of someone going to sleep forever than come home ordinary day and find blood all over the bathroom from slit wrists in the tub. Ya know?

And yes, I've thought of suicide too. I haven't decided on time or place yet is why I'm still breathing. Or at least, that's what I tell myself.


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